Weight Gain, Money Spending and Other Shallow Goals

Approaching this job, I'll be honest, I had three completely shallow goals.

Firstly, I wanted to save money. After four years of living in one of Austral-Asia's most expensive cities and having 70% of my salary go to rent,when I moved back to Canada keen on saving and "being an adult", I panicked and over corrected by locking myself in a log cabin 20 km away from shops, the internet, and basically anywhere else that I could spend money.

Well, turns out, I am great at spending money and in the last few months, have tried with all my might to concentrate a week's worth of spending into my 2.5 days off. Thankfully, despite my efforts, I have managed to save more. It's drastic but I'll give Goal #1 a passing grade.

My second goal was, as pretentious as it sounds, to focus on my writing.

Now before you get ahead of yourself in mocking me, please know that I am under any illusions that I'll write the Bowron version of "On Walden Pond" this summer (a little wink to all of you English grads for getting that reference - what a useful degree we have).

My goal wasn't to write a masterpiece, but instead to simply write and actually enjoy doing it because, after four years of churning out blog after blog for my employers like a content factory, I was losing my passion and my writing was on track to becoming, well, unbearable.

So forest + lake + no internet has meant that my journal is getting filled and that I'm writing enough entries that I don't need to publish every piece of crap that I jot down (yes, hard to believe but you are in fact getting the curated version here). And yes, I am finally loving writing again - give Goal #2 a big shiny check mark

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And finally Goal #3: to get fit (ie super ripped and hot in a bikini).

Let's just say that 4 years of writing at a desk all day long, combined with an appetite that has not kerbed itself even if I'm not waitressing on my feet all day or playing on four sports teams -- well it's not exactly the recipe for a stellar physique.

But it was safe to assume that having to hike in 16 kilometres with a wheelbarrow full of crap every week would help shed a few pounds. If not that than the hours of chainsawing, splitting wood, digging outhouses and being an all around lumberjack was sure to have me looking like Kayla Itsines by month one right?

So, a few days ago when I approached the scale full of (skinny!) guts, glory and unearned pride, I stepped forward to find...drum roll please... that I had gained two pounds.

What...the...actual...f@&$ - what kind of sick cruel world is this?

Well, after a minor breakdown which involved three different scales (all with the same results), then me swearing off carbs forever before subsequently crawling back to carbs moments later by inhaling half a bag of Miss Vicky's Salt and Vinegars (due to stress of aforementioned results), I finally resolved to forget about the damn scales (which now lay in a heap on the floor) and to instead go by how I felt.

Because I know now that when I flex really hard, I can see the vague outline of the mystical and rare female tricep muscle. I also know that on my first hike into the cabin back in May, I experienced what I assumed at the time was a slow and painful death. Now, on the other hand, the hike in feels more like a minor but completely survivable heart attack (progress is progress!).

On Goal #3 I will say definitely a work in progress.

It's silly but I know now that I was looking to this summer like the ultimate reset button - reset my finances, my mind and my health. I could feel that my life was spiralling in the wrong direction and I knew I needed to change. And for me, all that matters is that:I'm here trying to change and working towards the life that I am happy to live -- screw what the scales say, this is it.